You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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