I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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