I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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