Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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