I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
