If that was your dad, he is hot
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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