I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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