I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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