I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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