id be glad to
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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