Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize