Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
