This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
