Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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