I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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