Your tits are I can't wait for
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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