I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
