She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
