He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize