The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
