Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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