i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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