Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
