Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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