The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
