So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
