Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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