in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
