I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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