Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
