Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the day after is always just damage control
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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