If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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