no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize