dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
