Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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