no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My balls are so social today.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
