Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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