After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I could fuck to npr.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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