he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
