Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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