I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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