You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
