After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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