are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
