I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
