do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
