Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
