if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize