Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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