I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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