So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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