he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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