You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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