As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
