I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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