Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
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I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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