I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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